Ladies and gentleman, here at The Nearby Future, we would love nothing more than to run rampant with glitter and turn our homepage into a tinsel-y mess of fantastically sparkling pictures that resembles a Christmas tree decorated by a four year old.
But we don’t.
We consider glitter on a homepage a sign of weakness.
Or desperation.
But what [...]

We’re in a recession. Can’t you smell the desperation in the air? If you want to tell which companies aren’t doing so hot by simply perusing one of their products, count the number of adjectives. The more adjectives, the more debt the company has. A company goes through a verb phrase before they unconsciously turn [...]