“I was confused,” one reader told me before I karate chopped him in the face.
“What is this site all about?” Someone else asked before I drop-kicked them over three and a half continents.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to our website. It literally speaks for itself.
This is our homepage. There’s no place like it.
This is a reminder of where you are. The Nearby Future. With extraneous amounts of glitter. Which, I remember, Rika once said was a sign of weakness. But that’s for another post.
Okay folks, now this is where things get super tricky. If you look at The Nearby Future’s grass-ridden layout and quirky articles with pictures of Obama, you may at first think, “Hey, this is a pretty neat cooking appliance storefront! We understand. We make this mistake at least twice a week. It’s one of those identity crisis moments where we have to have a group yoga session to prevent our recurring existential crisis-es from surfacing.
That’s why we created the “Informative Home Page”. You’re confused, you go here. Bam.
If you’re confused on who I am, go to the Real Informative Home Page. If you’re confused why a bunch of schmucks like us would write articles for no monetary gain, you would go there. If you’re confused who YOU are, then I suggest seeking out an appropriate moment to have you’re own personal existential crisis. I heard they’re all the rage nowadays.
Yes. I’m being facetious.
—If you are a part of The Nearby Future’s Staff, click here—
Stop Walking Backwards!
The way our world is going now, Earth will probably self destruct in the next twenty years. Global Warming will flood crops causing starvation. Oil will run out and we will still be dependent on it. War will break out over an issue like invading other countries to try and fix things. Not a pretty future, right? Well, our blog is devoted to attempting to prevent that. Here’s how we do it:
- No fluff: We package up important information and relay it to you in a simple but detailed way. No extra fluff, only the good stuff. Apocalypse survival tips, social commentary, it’s all here.
- Ideas: that is the way to fix everything! Come up with great ideas to help our world. This is an idea sharing network, encouraging people with good ideas and helping people come up with their own.
- Quirky writers: who amoxicillin generic brand buy amoxil online amoxil no prescription doesn’t propecia vs viviscal propecia reviews like witty writers dishing out facts and opinions in a detailed, creative way? Our staff of writers keep content fresh and different.
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So there you have it- our brilliant plan. Want to get instant updates from us? Subscribe to our feed at thenearbyfuture.com/feed So read on, form your own opinions, and help the world help itself. Everything on here has the potential to really make a difference.
Let’s stop walking backwards and start marching on to a better future!
Calister F. Wells
Piratical Lord of the Guitars (PLOTG)