The Stock Market Near-Crash: Impossible Missions Force to the Rescue!

Image by Newsweek.com

IMF? You heard a little about them? Nope, I’m not talking about the International Monetary Fund. I’m talking about the Impossible Missions Force. Word on the streets is that they’re screwing up our economy- and Greece’s- because they’re too busy blowing up buildings, fancy Italian sports cars, and paying for Tom Cruise’s- er, Ethan Hunt’s hair gel. Apparently their “if it is larger than a bread box, blow it up” philosophy is costing the government big bucks. What, you thought the economic trouble in Greece had to do with our government’s stimulus package? Psh!

You see, everyone’s blaming the federal government for the fourteen-figure national debt we’ve got going on now (which is in turn responsible for the stimulus bill and all the crazy worldwide economic crisis-es), but really it’s the Impossible Missions Force. I mean, after the fifth surveillance van in 24 hours gets blown to smithereens, the Impossible Missions Force is already knee high in debts and knows that it has to go rob a bank or something to keep it’s debts from piling up.

And it’s not like the US federal government is just throwing money at random problems or going on wild goose chases for nuclear bombs or is responsible for fourteen figure debts and it’s not like they keep raising the debt ceiling or screwing Americans over with inevitable taxes once our government goes broke and can’t pay anybody back…

Yeah, the government couldn’t possibly be as bad as the Impossible Missions Force and their twenty minute long explosion-ridden escape sequences…

Or could they?

-Rika

[Citation: This post is inspired by this Newsweek article]