Please Tell Me You’re Not Confused

Several people are confused about what The Nearby Future is about.

“I was confused,” one reader told me before I karate chopped him in the face.

“What is this site all about?” Someone else asked before I drop-kicked them over three and a half continents.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to our website. It literally speaks for itself.

This is our homepage. There’s no place like it.

This is a reminder of where you are. The Nearby Future. With extraneous amounts of glitter. Which, I remember, Rika once said was a sign of weakness. But that’s for another post.

Okay folks, now this is where things get super tricky.  If you look at The Nearby Future’s grass-ridden layout and quirky articles with pictures of Obama, you may at first think, “Hey, this is a pretty neat cooking appliance storefront!  We understand. We make this mistake at least twice a week. It’s one of those identity crisis moments where we have to have a group yoga session to prevent our recurring existential crisis-es from surfacing.

That’s why we created the “Real Informative Home Page”. You’re confused, you go there. Bam.

If you’re confused on who I am, go to the Real Informative Home Page. If you’re confused why a bunch of schmucks like us would write articles for no monetary gain, you would go there. If you’re confused who YOU are, then I suggest seeking out an appropriate moment to have you’re own personal existential crisis. I heard they’re all the rage nowadays.

Yes. I’m being facetious.

-Calister F. Wells